Learning to be ok with being a plantser & other writing woes
If you read my last blog post then you know I have been in the throes of outlining and restructuring the horror novel that’s been on my mind the past several years. I am pleased to announce that I have successfully outlined the first half of the book, parts of the second half, and the climax! The further I got into the outlining the stage, the more excited I got to write (something I haven’t felt in a long time), and as much as I tried, I just couldn’t force myself to muster through the rest of outlining with all these wonderful ideas swirling in my head.
So I decided to start drafting.
Problem is that there has always been this insistent narrative plaguing my mind and telling me, “You have to finish one writing task before starting another”. Then there’s another voice begging me to sit down and write the damn book. These opposing forces have been at war in my mind for as long as I can remember and I’m done trying to figure out which one is right.
So like the little girl from my favorite Velveeta commercial says:
The terms planner and panster have circulated the online writing community for years. Authors like George R. R. Martin take umbridge to the term panster and prefer a more refined term like gardner to describe how they plant seeds and watch them grow naturally as the story progresses, as opposed to the chaos that comes to mind when you imagine a writer who has a fly by the seat of their pants style (hence the term pantser).
I relate greatly to the planners. I love charts, detailed character sheets and worldbuilding notes. I love tables that help me organize characters, magic rules, plots, and mystery elements. But I also love the feeling that comes with discovery writing. Some of my best ideas and characters have spontaneously sprung out of my head and onto the page.
So when it comes to this story I am following in brave the footsteps of the Velveeta girl.
Imagine charting a course for a road trip. You know where you’re starting, you know where you want to conclude the trip and some places you’d like to visit, but you have no idea what you’ll find along the way. You’re hoping that you’ll come across some crazy attraction or a giant pistachio on the side of the road, but you just don’t know. That type of spontaneity is what I’m after. I know where the story begins and ends. I know the rules of the sandbox I’ve created, but before we get to the end goal I want to explore.
Letting go of structure is difficult for me in all aspects of life. I thrive on structure, lists, and rules. Sometimes they feel restrictive or overwhelming. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things ‘the right way’, instead of just doing what feels right and true in the moment. I’m slowly learning it’s ok to let go of control and go with the flow. I guess you could say this is part of my character development.
My therapist would be so proud of me.